I am so grateful...

I am experiencing alot of emotions right now. I have a pit in my stomach after learning of the death of my friend's 19 month old son. Pat Young was a good friend of mine in Highschool. He has since moved to Sunnyvale, California. He and his wife have one child, a 19 month old named Cooper. Cooper passed away on January 29th of Meningitis. I just learned of this a few hours ago. Ever since, I have been...thoughtful.

I spend every day, rushing around and alot of times, wishing away some of the stress that family life brings. I think back on the time before I had any children...Joey and I had to go through alot before we were able to get Ethan. I remember feeling so helpless and sad, wondering if I would ever get the opportunity to be a mother. There were so many tears and despairing moments. I was finally blessed with Ethan. Then came Max, Owen and Audrey.

Life is hecktic and, yes...stressful. I yell or get upset every single day!!! All of that being said, how extremely blessed I am! Children and families are such a source of joy - if you let them be. Audrey is 16 months old and I...can't imagine what I would if I lost her or any of my children.

Pat has been blessed and comforted by the knowledge of the gospel through this trying time in his life. I think the trick is to know how blessed you are and know how precious all of life's moments are, so you can fully embrace them - and truly enjoy them. Not wish them away.

How grateful I am for my family. How grateful I am for the gospel...to know I will surely be with them again after this life. I will try to be a little more patient, a little more loving tomorrow and even more the next day. I want my children to know how grateful I am for them so that, if we were separated from each other in this life, I can be comforted knowing they knew how much I loved them. Life is so precious and fragile! It's so wonderful to be a mother - to care for our children, love them and laugh with them. I am grateful for Pat's example and outlook during this difficult time. It has allowed me to reflect on my blessings and know that I have many.